One of the last things Ramona said to me before we shared our last hug and she headed out in search of 401 east, was that we’ve always been a thread in the tapestries of our lives and it is so true. We have stories that go back to this time…
Ramona and I spent two evenings and a full day of magic yesterday and of course, I had to post a wee tribute to that in the form of a blog post. I haven’t a lot of words, because in some strange way I feel drained…elated…reflective and so, more than anything I take pause. I’m replaying the song that she mentioned on our morning wake up yesterday morning.
I took Ramona on a magical trip into the county, as far as Sandbanks Provincial Park, the beach and the dunes, with stops including downtown Belleville, Oeno outdoor sculpture Gardens and Gallery, Ameliasburgh for cemetery walking and museum gawking, Picton for lunch and wandering and, of course, a stop for a Reid’s icecream cone. I am grateful to remember Ramona as one of those people who was formative in my vision of who I wanted to become in life and how I wanted to get there. Ramona has humility although she has accomplished such great things. Given service with the Peace Corp in Chile, Peru and Guyana, Ramona knows what, of life, is valuable and has a healthy relationship with ‘stuff’. She is smart about almost everything. She treasures those who are in her life and is positive, supportive and empathetic. Ramona is the light that comes into a grey day and washes everything with hope. Not perfect, she has used her imperfections, struggles and sorrow, to throw trouble on its head. Ramona rises to the surface. I want to never take any of this for granted. I have been so fortunate.
Our day was touched by Monarch butterflies and heart felt stories, everywhere we went.
The cemetery edges on a conservation area…lovely scene…very pastoral. It was a dry summer as is evidenced by the vegetation. If I have the time, I’ll place a mum here, before I head east…I placed an acorn on Al Purdy’s stone. I’m grateful for the way that his poetry has inspired so much painting this summer!The Ameliasburgh Museum….Ramona and I figured on so many ways that we might make it more accessible to visitors. We would do a bit of a redo and that had us giggling and analyzing throughout our wander. Honey cans and apiary stuff…I DID feel grateful that the citizens have been gathering and preserving history.
Wool and fibers…of course, I always have an interest in such as this.
Church archives and objects from a number of local churches. Down at the cemetery, we met some very friendly people who were direct descendants of the Roblin family and they shared the art events that were coming up at the county over the long weekend. Of course…the old school house!Oeno…
After Oeno, we were famished and so high tailed it to Picton where we found a lunch spot that made up our desired menu for us…more stories…more easing into the day and two satisfied tummies. A little shop and then off we headed for Sandbanks.
Wormwood or Artemnisia, the natural provision for Absinthe.Milkweed… Wild grapes… We’ve walked Lake Michigan together…now, Lake Ontario!I’ll post the Ramona-ready-to-drive-off photo, when I’m feeling less emotional about it, tomorrow. I love that girl!
Mom’s last weeks and days and hours were spent at H. J. Mcfarland Memorial Home in Picton, Prince Edward County, Ontario. For me, it was very important that Dad take me on a bit of a journey of the grounds and halls that they shared together during that time. I wanted to see the gardens that Mom saw, before the roses came into full bloom. I wanted to see the crops in the fields that they saw together, growing and changing day by day, as Dad pushed Mom’s wheelchair. He said that in the first days, there was nothing but soil…and then the lovely green of spring sprouts came to be. Gardens and the landscapes of Canada were always so inherent to Mom.
The day that I visited, I saw the courtyard that Mom would have seen from her window. I saw the roses in full bloom and I sat in the shade of the gazebo where together, my parents would take quiet rest. I looked out at the sprawling grounds and saw the mighty trees. I could not help but connect with a sense of life’s cycles and about the continuity of all life: from the dawn of living things until the dusk…and finally, rest…knowing that the darkness is a step into light everlasting, aptly written by Rabindranath Tagore.
“Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.”
…and from the Psalms…
Psalm 18:28
You light a lamp for me. The LORD, my God, lights up my darkness. (NLT)
The women and men who cared for Mom during her last days and supported Dad as he walked this journey, were people of great blessing. Mom was given the dignity and light that she so deserved. She was given beautiful meals. She was able to touch soil for the last time, potting small plants in the springtime. Mom and Dad were given respect and kindness and for this and more, I will always be grateful.
I am in awe at the strength that my father showed in his walk with his precious wife and my mother and her journey with Alzheimer’s disease. Because of his inspirational ‘walk’, I am far more aware and sensitive to the vast numbers of caregivers who are daily-struggling with some version of his own truth. Society has to re-focus their best efforts where all of these interconnected issues come to intersect.
This being said, and looking again at the purpose for this post, I want to close by saying that I am grateful for the care that Mom received at H. J. Mcfarland Memorial Home. Below, a brief description of the man who generously donated the property and facility that in the end, was my mother’s last home in Prince Edward County.
Harvey McFarland grew up as a poor farm boy in Roblin, Ontario. His childhood experience drove him to seek a better life. After a series of jobs as a logger, and threshing grain and hauling rock with his team of horses, Harvey started a construction company that made him a millionaire.
We made a short drive out to Wellington today and took some other country roads to view vast and ripe fields of grain, fruit stands, vinyards and miles of shoreline on Lake Ontario. It was an awesome thing…a beautiful day spent with my parents on Mom’s birthday. I enjoyed a few short stops looking at churches, the one featured here, built in 1878.
