Mr. was singing out from the same location today and I captured his first photo of the season. Mrs. was more elusive, although I had made a siting before finding my camera. She is looking tiny, after a rather rough winter season.
2014 Male Sparrow
I wrote about helplessness last year as one of the nestlings had to be scooped up by me and placed gently back into the nest after the vent that had provided a barricade had broken off in weather. I used duct tape to create a weaker barrier, but held out hope that the nestling would be nurtured to good health by attentive parents. In the end, I knew that it had died because Mr. & Mrs. abandoned the nest for the remainder of the season.
Some of these nests are so precarious as they are built and perch under roofing material and in the most odd ball places. I was happy to see Mr. belting out his mating tune. He’s ready to go, again! Such resolve, given the falls that his babes have made these last couple of years.
Just briefly checking in with my readers regarding my DIY project. I took a couple of days off from this project, but was back at it today. My father was wondering with all of the close ups just what I am creating, so I slid the drawers in to the dresser to give him and idea. Nearing the finish line with the stripping and sanding. I will be purchasing a tube of wood filler and a can of primer tomorrow after Mass.
This has been an ‘other-worldly’ sort of Lenten journey. I wonder if this is just what happens sometimes…where a person feels somehow ‘vacant’. My prayers are not deeply profound or full to the brim with imagery. They are of the ‘simple’ variety. I know that sometimes writers and great spiritual people of history have experienced what they call the desert….perhaps I am in a desert. I just don’t know.
In Le Petit Prince par Antoine de Saint-Exupery, the desert is a place where a huge narrative unfolds. The story is child like in its flavour, but in its simplicity are found the profundities of life. The taste of water, for example, is so much better with the hard work if one is collecting that water from a well. Sometimes, at the turning of a tap, we have no appreciation for that water and can easily take it for granted.
So, the meeting in the desert between the Little Prince and the pilot offer the reader many inspired thoughts, meant for us to see our lives differently and to place value on ‘matters of consequence’ as they are…not as we, in this earthy experience, believe them to be.
Jesus meets his father in the desert. He experiences ridicule and temptation. He transcends and comes to acceptance in the desert. Some days I know that I’m not so great at imitating these and think that this must be because ‘my desert’ is different…but no, they are one in the same. And…the ball is in my court. I have a will…I make choices…and it is in me to, without being self-righteous, to do the right thing.
For me, a guide through the desert, is simply expressed through the five steps of St. Ignatius of Loyola’s spirituality. I collected this summary from a talk given by Dorothea Marie Epple PhD. LCSW. I am most interested in her publications because she has explored the topics of senile dementia of the Alzheimer’s type and what this means for families, communities and our future together. There is no desert that compares to the one where my mother and father find themselves, struggling together on a daily basis and seeing face-to-face the matters of consequence that I mention briefly above.
The Daily Examen in Five Steps
I assume that there are three kinds of thoughts in myself. That is, one kind is my own, which arises strictly from my own freedom and desire; and the other two come from outside myself, the one from the good spirit and the other from the evil.” (St. Ignatiusas cited in Ganss, 1991, p. 132) The daily examen is a simple prayer, with five steps, to examine your day for signs of God’s presence (Martin, 2010). The prayer is about finding God in your life and letting God find you. The first step is giving thanks for the good things in your day – gratitude. Savor the moment: the sunshine on a cold winter snowy day, the giggle of a child, the bloom of a flower, the kind word from a colleague, the unexplained and unexpected resolution to a difficult situation. To stop, notice, enjoy, savor and show gratitude slows us down. Martin (2010) quotes Anthony de Mellow, “You sanctify whatever you are grateful for” (p. 89). The second step in the examen is to ask for the grace to know where you acted contrary to better judgment. Martin (2010) states, “Today guilt may be undervalued. The voice of our conscience, which tells us we did something wrong and moves us to make amends, is a voice that can lead us to become more loving and ultimately, happier” (p. 89). He goes on to recognize that sins of omission or failing to bother to help another may be insights into a lack of responding to God’s invitation to grow. The third step of the examen is to review your day. Recall everything, thoughts words, and deeds. The fourth step of the examen is to ask for forgiveness from God for sins or omissions of the day. Decide if you will reconcile with anyone you have hurt. The fifth step is asking for the grace of God’s help in the next day. There is no one right way to pray the examen. Dorothy Day revised her daily examen to the following steps: thank God for favors, beg for light and grace to see clearly, survey, repent, resolve (Ellsberg, 2008). The examen helps you to realize the presence of God…by asking you to notice where God already exists in your life, where your yesterdays were beautiful. With that awareness you will begin to notice God’s presence more and more in your day. (Martin, 2010, p. 102)
“God looks at me, and I look at God” (Martin, 2010)
I stood in line…23rd in line, at the drug store post office. It was the second time I’ve done that in the past week and I am proud to say that I went at the experience, having coached myself for the second time, into being ‘light’ to the line-up. I was the one chatting it up with the couple who have been married for twenty-four years because ‘he’ was willing to hold her heavy green and obviously feminine purse over ‘his’ shoulder for ‘her’ as ‘she’ shifted weight from one high heeled foot to the other for the duration. I met the wee nine month old who managed, in the heat, to be of good nature while his mother remained the same. Eventually, I made the front of the line.
Max and I headed enthusiastically for our off leash experience…finding it dark already, but the weather mild, with no wind. Christmas lights have sprung up throughout the neighbourhood and I was left with a wonderful and magical feeling as we headed home.
Arriving, I quickly phoned my mother and father. By that time, I had missed our Skype date. As is usual, hearing their voices warmed my heart and then it was time to plug in the tree lights, pour the rum and eggnog and dip into Frogger’s chocolate jujubes. (I bought five of these boxes to share with others…now I have four.)
Now…for the big chill. My boy, Peanut, exemplifies that feeling the best! Since I’ve taken away his hang-out carpet in order to make room for the Christmas tree, he has, without any hesitation, taken over Max-man’s chair. This makes me smile.
It was while I was taking my first jujube nibbles and washing those nibbles down with rum and eggnog that I came upon this very fine work created by my friend, Jen. This particular website is called I Am Worth So Much More. An awesome piece of work! I hope that some of the resources can be of assistance to young ladies who are ‘trying to find their place in the world’!
It has been a very busy few days, with a whack of things packed into each and every day. I hope to write about some of it over the next while…but, if I don’t get to it…Heh! That’s alright too! Hoping that my readers are also enjoying their seasonal preparations and rituals…and that you also, find the time to chill!