Time After Time

I have thought of nothing but my mother and father all morning, from the time at six in the morning, when my alarm rang…through my blogging efforts to distract…into the second cup of coffee and then onto the fields of the off leash park.  The sun is shining here and the dry grass carries old smells of winter.  Listening to CKUA on the way home in the van, this duet played and there began the howling…the gut-crying and all spilled out.  After what my beautiful sister has written, “He has given all he can to care for his “Katy” at home, and is to be commended for his herculean efforts.”

 

After all of this…we, as a family, are growing more and more to accept that Mom’s Alzheimer’s disease is bit by bit, claiming her…and we are grieving and frustrated and sad.  If I was watching my best friend being sucked into an abyss of quicksand, I would feel the same.  It is an impossible thing to see parts of your mother, father, husband, wife and friend disappear over time.  It is something impossible to fully grasp unless you are standing beside that dark hole, watching.

 

Readers, you fill your lives with art and music, writing and travel, friendships and celebrations.  The world is filled up to the brim with everything that is lovely.  I only wish to say and I know I say it often…appreciate that loveliness, family, friendships, faith to the limits.  Today is ours.  This moment is ours.  It is all we have.  As I listened to this song…I thought of my mother.

 

“After my picture fades and darkness has
Turned to gray
Watching through windows you’re wondering
If I’m OK
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time.”

Image Overload: Me and Mom

High School Laughs

 

It amazes me that I can walk past the computer any time of the day and in ten or fifteen minutes, I can choose to write a post and illustrate that post with a digital photograph.  I look at how many images we all see anymore and I am astounded by their number, quality and their availability.  There was a time when individuals had a very sketchy record of their history in photographs.  Take for example the documented images you see here.  These are a couple of the only photographs I have WITH my mother from my years in high school.  At the time, we had a wee camera.  We had problems getting film to the drug store to be developed, so even though we may have ‘taken’ photographs in the family, it was a lucky day that any of the film was processed. 

The family camera is now a thing of the past, with each and every family member now carrying multiple sorts of technology that record and spew out almost immediate records of the most insignificant or significant events of their lives.

Having been born in 1955, I learned in high school to keyboard on an Underwood typewriter in school.  I also felt particularly blessed to own my own transistor radio! I have to say to present generations, enjoy the access to the technology of today and use those cameras to capture beautiful moments; your Mom, minus the curlers and you, curled up beside her!

A T.V. viewing moment...likely Hockey Night in Canada!