Writing My Life Out of Order: Surprise #1 In No Particular Order

P1120244I’m trying to regroup in all aspects of life right now (and my regrouping is coming along just fine), but somehow my blog is becoming a mish-mash of the past two months and the present.  I just finished writing a ‘brief’ about my times in Hamilton…still not finished that one, but close.  Once completed, I have so much more to explore around times in Belleville, Powassan, Lindsay and tripping the Trans-Canada highway single-handedly.  I suppose my readers will just have to take it as it comes and I appreciate your patience with that.

At the moment, I need to review last night’s event, even briefly.  The Alberta Flood Relief Concert ticket was a gift from my daughter and her husband.  With gratitude, I made my way, along with 31,000 other attendees, to McMahon Stadium in Calgary.  I’m going to review the concert as a series of surprises in no particular order.

Surprise #1:  Jann Arden was set to play her last tune in her short set.  Now, I’ve attended no fewer than five of Jann’s concerts and loved every one of them.  When the introduction to Good Mother came up, I made some comment, “Oh…I knew she would do this one.”  I was happy.  I’ve always looked forward to this tune.

However, what happened next was surprising.  I anticipated the song in the same way I’ve always anticipated it, with images of my own mother. Through the introductory notes, I forgot that my mother was gone and when the tune moved slightly beyond and into the lyric, that reality of life without my mother, was like a punch in the gut.

My mother…the forever-reference point.  This experience…sort of like the difference between reading ‘the book’ and then watching ‘the movie’.  While I read ‘the book’, I create images in my head for characters and for settings.  At the first viewing of ‘the movie’, I’m always disappointed.  The physical choices for the actors and actresses rarely match the characters that have developed in my imagination.  The places never look quite the same.  It was a similar experience, listening to this song, the first time since my mother’s passing.

I surprised myself crying, all the while, surrounded by thousands of people in the stands.  The song, like everything else in my world, has changed.

Good Mother by Jann Arden

I’ve got money in my pocket,
I like the color of my hair.
I’ve got a friend who loves me,
Got a house, I’ve got a car.
I’ve got a good mother,
and her voice is what keeps me here.

Feet on ground,
Heart in hand,
Facing forward,
Be yourself.
I’ve never wanted anything.
No I’ve, no I’ve, I’ve never wanted anything,
so bad..(so bad).

Cardboard masks of all the people I’ve been
Thrown out, with all the rusted, tangled
dented God Damned miseries!!
You could say I’m hard to hold,
But if you knew me you’d know,
I’ve got a good father,
And his strength is what makes me cry.

Feet on ground,
Heart in hand,
Facing forward,
Be yourself.
I’ve never wanted anything,
No I’ve, no I’ve, I’ve never
wanted anything so bad..(so bad).

I’ve got money in my pockets,
I like the color of my hair.
I’ve got a friend who loves me,
Got a house, I’ve got a car.
I’ve got a good mother,
and her voice is what keeps me here.

Feet on ground,
Heart in hand,
Facing forward,
Be yourself.

Heart in hand,
Feet on ground,
Facing forward,
Be yourself.
just be yourself.
just be yourself.

P1120249

2 thoughts on “Writing My Life Out of Order: Surprise #1 In No Particular Order

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