Watching My Life Happen

Sometimes, most times, always…it’s not about what I choose to do.  It’s, for the most part, about how I respond (no sense, reacting) to what happens.  Just this past week, my friend embraced her sister and, together, they held their brother in their arms while he breathed his last breath.  Her story, shared in the studio, took my own breath away…the story at her core…the letting go…the holding on…the shared narrative…a life…a voice…gone.  She dialed up his answering machine…I listened and left a message.  The tiny fragments of a big life, left behind and cherished.  I know.  This post is fragmented (not coherent).  What is it that I’m trying to say?  Live your real life?  Think about it.  Thanks to Mel, who shared this song earlier this week.  It makes sense to me.

Colin Hay – Waiting for My Real Life to Begin

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I’ll keep checking the horizon
And I’ll stand on the bow, and feel the waves come crashing
Come crashing down, down, down on me

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart
Let the light shine in
Don’t you understand
I already have a plan
I’m waiting for my real life to begin

When I woke today, suddenly nothing happened
But in my dreams, I slew the dragon
And down this beaten path, up this cobbled lane
I’m walking in my old footsteps, once again
And you say, just be here now
Forget about the past, your mask is wearing thin
Just let me throw one more dice
I know that I can win
I’m waiting for my real life to begin

Any minute now, my ship is coming in
I’ll keep checking the horizon
And I’ll check my machine, there’s sure to be that call
It’s gonna happen soon, soon, oh so very soon
It’s just that times are lean

And you say, be still my love
Open up your heart, let the light shine in
Don’t you understand
I already have a plan
I’m waiting for my real life to begin

3 thoughts on “Watching My Life Happen

  1. Just returned from a long visit at the hospital with my grandfather today.

    Called him “magic man” growing up. He could build absolutely anything with those big strong hands…magic.
    He is no longer the embodiment of the grand spirit within. It seemed to be seaping out around him with every breath. I felt that i took some of it in.. with me. Holding his weary head as i played him some John Prine and talked of my day. He still continued to give though he had no words and his hands fell weak to his sides.

    Just logged onto FB and saw this post. So very pertinent.

    Wondering how many ways a person’s spirit can continue to affect those around them long after their physical (form) presence has left… and guide those left behind into living their lives with a little more perpous and intention..and WIth love.

    Thank you Kathleen.

  2. Despite what you say your post is very “coherent” and profound. The ultimate intimacy of sharing the passing of loved ones is very familiar to me and to thousands of others on a daily basis. The beauty of autumn reflects this experience and gives hope that this natural cycle is a true and continuing part of our dream of life…

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